the floyd chronicles

by big whatever

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big whatever Gainesville, Florida

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Track Name: actor
i'm eatin vegetables, i'm actin out
i'm sleepin in, i'm sauerkraut,
i'm fermented cabbage, i'm a daikon radish
i'm an idiot, i'm michael savage

i'm dan savage, i'm fred savage
way beyond average, redd fox with red cabbage
redd blood cells, unnecessary bass lines
the universe, like continuum spacetime

try to erase mine, you can't, you wish you could taste mine
workin on the waistline takes time and you waste mine
i swear i'm chaste, man, yo, peace to the basedgod
my rhymes will put you and your crew in your place, god

shouts to erik and da pizza faced god
try not to want, always make sure to waste not
peter piper at the gates of dawn, space rock
i make her say [oh] when i poke her face, god


you probably think this song is about you
don't you, forget about me

back in black hole sun, won't you come
on eileen

sufragette city love will tear us aparty
rock is in the house tonight, tonight



big whatever, back for round two
still get kinda nervous when i get around you
you make me red like the box with the stove top stuffing
much ado about the shrew, the taming of nothing

i'm an actor, marry me, john
you couldn't check me, gotta carry me on
the lunatic is on the grass, yeah, that's the lawn
i'm every man, i'm every woman, chaka khan

my sharona, my diploma
i'm richard rogers, oklahoma!
peep the fragrance, yo, smell the aromas
i never nap, cuz naps are the cousin of comas

new york state of mind, dude, i'm all about it
some think it's too crowded, but it's good for the loud kids
my work is so lauded, i'm eatin two calzones,
in the alternate universe where gore won in 2000



you probably think this song is about you
don't you, forget about me

back in black hole sun, won't you come
on eileen

paradise city love will tear us aparty
hard knock life ain't nothin but a dreamweaver



you don't have to care about me, just like my favorite things
i don't care if you got cream, just as long as you can swing
you can invade my dreams, long as i can make you steam
i can't even tell the difference between a taco and love supreme

john coltrane, '63, newport
3 packs plus 3 cigs, that's 63 newports
i want to talk about you, but i can't find the words
i'm chasin another trane, my impressions are absurd

alexander graham cracker taco beller rockefeller
melle mel and big whatever roll in busted ass jetta
here come the hotstepper, from the steppes like a shepherd
i'm salt and pepper, get cheddar like david guetta but better whatever tho


you probably think this song is about you
don't you, forget about me

back in black hole sun, won't you come
on eileen

sufragette city love will tear us aparty
hard knock life's been good vibrations
Track Name: the flip
you're prince john, richard lewis
y'all jokes, richard pryor
what's my line? jerry lewis
i'm austin powers. mike myers

tires on the bus go round and round, and i'm drivin, i'm wired,
i'm lost, i'm found, it's late, could i just be uninspired?
my desire's to compose as inspired as 70's wire
it's not all roses, mostly thorns, just throw me in the fire


smokin the potentest dope and supposin it's workin
toastin and boastin, i'm up in convenience stores clerkin
watchin young turks on my computer at perkin's
other window's xtube, jerkin like berserk with a merkin

the perks of workin i find to be outnumbered by the pitfalls
i'm it, brah, this shit's raw, can't sit, nah, legit, raw
so bizarre, i'm like caesar on a see-saw
shouts to weezer, lil b, of montreal



some people think that i could blow up, i know i always show up
woody allen said 80% of it is showing up
the rules are made up, the other 20% don't matter
i heard success is served to the willing on a platter

swing, batter, swing, drummer, swing lo, magellan
swing lo, sweet pepsi truck, gatorade fierce melon
call me dr. scholl's, you could be sure that I'm gellin'
people fillin shopping carts with the beats that I be sellin



lookin for the words to make the hottest 16 ever
sweet 16-channel interface, let's build something together
i get low like bowie, at times a home despot
george prescott bush, i'm swingin like the red sox

i make the best rock, best rap, best electric pop
i'm silly like the rabbit you see on the front of the trix box
i sit around in thick socks, cookin hella chex mix
lookin for the magic bullet that'll give your man the best mix

they say i'm too sick, too ill, stuffed up, congested
me, i'm the best, yeah, that's what the best said
the game is rigged, man, corruption is vested
give a few of em mansions, and the rest get arrested

i can't be bested, it's wesson, not west, kid,
snappy & floyd in case you couldn't have guessed it
blessed with the willingness to put up with near infinite crap
man, fuck what you want, i'm goin in for a nap
Track Name: no brakes
no brakes, no gas either
no clutch, can't grasp why you're huffin ether
why you like nickelback, why you like seether
rock game is fucked up, i'mma take a breather

rap game fucked too, i don't like neither
jokes, i like everything, except for seether
cider in the fridge, money in the freezer
life is beautiful, i only wanna please her

i'll meet with you for coffee but let me drink my tea first
i'm almost ready, now, i hella gotta pee, first
sea horse in a sea hearse, aqua-necromancer, sea curse
seafood restaurant, you can't see me writin free verse

put the car in reverse, fast forward, selectah
inspector morse, i'm the best in the sector
lookin toward mecca spittin rhymes that'll wreck ya
larry the cable guy, health inspector


no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes
no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes
no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes
no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes

no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes
no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes
no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes
no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes



yo, it feels like back to bedlam, back to bedrock
tryin to do something other than get high and watch ted talks
i'm fred flintstone, i'm the rock and then some
i been dumb, leave a trail of tears and breadcrumbs

you want more words? but i already said some
i gotta catch em all like my name was ash ketchum
i'm eatin ketchup, pull all the vetch up
i'll hang a sketch up, go on, offer your kvetch up

catch me eatin green eggs, catch me eatin ham
catch me at the dollar store, buyin up the spam
you could see me all up in the club like i was sam
j. edgar herbert larry boss hoover dam

beaver dam, the great deceiver, damn
chicken sandwiches, i'm a wide receiver, man
straight from lebanon, just like the cedar, man
et tu, brute, julius caesar man


no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes
no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes
no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes
no brakes, no brakes, no brakes, no brakes
Track Name: emo song about girls [feat. jack topht]
Lost in a forest of despair on a song with no chorus
Lookin for words for depression all up in the thesaurus
Drowning in an ocean of emotion, looking for a lotion
that'll soothe this pain, a potion that'll cure my aching brain
I mean the part of it you call my heart, my emotional center
Floyd's just tryin to enter the way the Wu-Tang enter
But I find myself so discontented like Richard's winter
I mean the summer's almost here but to me it feels like December

If you wanna be mad at me, I know you're gonna be
You know I don't wanna see you like this
You're all pissed, I find myself dismissed
walkin away empty-handed like no presents on Christmas
I'm done making excuses, I'm demanding explanations
I won't stop the investigation till I can see the causations
This situation demands mad patience, but I'll wait it out
I wanna give good sensations, you deserve nothing short of elation,

damn, girl
Track Name: vegetables
feeling way too vulnerable, susceptible
something's going wrong, must be the lack of vegetables
my flow is strong like a wrecking ball, to heck with y'all
i'll do it by myself if myself can stand itself at all

internal conflict is easy to resolve
wait 20 to 30 minutes after the pills dissolve
i went to the doctor, now my canvas isn't blank
no depression, still got hella angst


tell the fellas thanks, for everything they do for me
sometimes i can't make words come out, they must think i'm stupid, b
not brave enough, to get myself where i should be
imagine my surprise when i see that they lookin at me

like i'm some big thing, some kinda prophet
you could hand me the torch, but i'm probably gonna drop it
this shit could flop, or it could make a record profit
oh, is that the throne? alright, i guess i'll watch it



vegetables
plants
vegetables
that's right, man

vegetables
vegetables
vegetables
vegetables


everybody look at me, i'm so complicated
i get faded every day cause i think it'll help me make it
gettin hecka baked, tryin to fake it till it happens
i guess it must be workin cuz they're cheerin when i'm rappin

apple jacks and captain, never catch me nappin
cap and trade, day trader, day tripper, eric clapton
my guitar gently weeps but my voice box is screamin
cash rules everything around east cleveland

cash rules everything around where i'm from
cash is king, cash cow, catch me gettin dumb
catch me gettin lit, catch me gettin high
books are in the black, yeah, i'm gettin by

yeah, i'm gettin paper, yeah, i'm gettin bling
cash rules everything around everything
yeah, i'm rollin l's, yeah, i'm rollin blunts
leader of the pack, yeah, i'm in the front



vegetables
think about it, man
vegetables
yo, you don't understand

vegetables
they'll put you in a can
vegetables
but i've got a plan


vegetables
vegetables
vegetables
vegetables

vegetables
vegetables
vegetables
vegetables
Track Name: chillin
this shit sound like

chillin, i said straight loungin'
my boys get down to reel around the fountain
you're lacking in stature, me, I'm a mountain
my pen is huge, ballpoint, fountain

scan the dance floor for the shorty I'll be mountin
you could make a wish, while I'm peein in the fountain
i'm the ceo, plus i do all the accountin
king of the hill? i'm a mountain


people say what people say
most people say stuff like every day
most people are a lot like you
you probably don't know what you would do

if you got what you want
if you got what you want


I'm like ludacris mixed with peter criss
I'm better than lakutis, shorty let's do this
i'm an honorable man, call me brutus
shorty, you're the cutest, come on, let's do this

i'm brutal with my honesty, y'all don't even wanna see
dudes act like pirrhannas, b, yo, I'm drinkin honest tea
spend the morning with the fauna in the salty sea,
chillin with a manatee, all up in the sauna, see




half-cool, half-gringo
watch the green come, watch the green go
beans grow, heems flow, greens grow, teen shows
where I come from, it's all shuffleboard and bingo

used to sling pizza, like, how y'all wings go?
i can kinda rap, but i wish that i could sing, though
i'm eatin pringles, hittin skins like ringo
canine in heat, frisky dingo


if you got what you want
if you got what you want

if you got what you want
if you got what you want
Track Name: absolutely
you want bars? well, i got some
used to be smart, then i got dumb
purple swag, yeah, i rock plum
dick cheney, man, shotgun

unforgiven, never unforgotten
call me johnny fermented cuz i ain't down with rotten
waste is the only sin, yo, pee in my compost bin
i meant the other bin, nah, the other other bin

got a wicked pile, but probably in denial
if you don't like it, then you could turn the dial
catch me high as mountaintops, catch me getting wild
catch me, cuz i'm falling, only lie is my smile

so broken, so fragile, it feel like a downward spiral
come at you with teeth, slip away for a while
robert the bruce springsteen, the river nile
hey, sexy lady, oppan gangnam style




smash my brains in, rub the stains in,
chocolate chip? nah. oatmeal raisin
peanut butter, y'all catch me vapin
kanjeezy, y'all, i'm amazing

aiyyo that's amazing, elephant talk,
internet be patrolled by all these relevance hawks,
like some incredible jocks, you know we relish the gawk,
one time, i read about cops, it said they was suckas

when it comes to jelly, it's homemade, no smuckers,
i'm kinda like the opposite of darius rucker
i'm the difference between jackie chan and chris tucker
i'm the difference between mark zuckerberg and jeff zucker

yo, suck a bag of d, smoke a bag a weed
just watch your fuckin back, should you choose to come at me
like we some pikemen, your boys'll be skewered
guaranteed make rod strickland sing like rod stewart
Track Name: enter the van
yo, catch me on i-10 blowin a fuse
this the sound of a man who got nothin to lose
i refuse to take the news, i can't handle the blues
catch me sayin damn, i'm so fuckin confused

gotta pay your dues before you're payin the rent
i got it covered, but i'm far from content
i got a lot that's good, i got a lot to lament
i'll remember who was with me before my ascent

and that's no one, they say it looks so fun
but i'm at work, dude, i gotta get that dough, son
check my flow, son, i know tons,
tell me why this feel like gettin shot with a blow gun

i'm paige hamilton, i'm unsung
destroy my sweater, yeah, i'm comin undone
hold this thread, the verse almost done
dirty water, unfortunate son




catch me on the l train, catch me at the deli
way i jam, you would think that i was jelly
catch me in my whip, typin on the celly
40404, tweetin #yolo, hittin semis

catch me on the television, call me young oprah
i'm new nightly, call me tom brokaw
catch me throwin shots back, catch me sayin opa
catch me speakin out against legislation - sopa

i'm on tour in a van like morrisson
i'm so beloved, toni morrison
love me two times, like i was jim morrison
i'm not supposed to like you, but, travis morrison

i'm in the forest, falcon head like horus
snappy & floyd, y'all, everyone adore us
consider all things like michele norris
yo, here it come, everybody sing the chorus
Track Name: give up
my sweaters are argyle, yours more checkerboard
what is this, 1, 2, mic check, i'm bored
call me a director, way i'm on the board
i got hella focus, like i drive a ford

you could call me chase by the way i drive a chevy
call me don mclean way i drove it to the levy
all the way there and that shit was fuckin dry
call me good ol boy, way i drink whiskey and rye

actor, get paid, get cast, like the die
i'm caesar, stab me, fall, caesar, then i die
i'm eliza poe, catch me on the stage
catch me smokin dro, i'm listenin to rage

against the machine, smoove like mr. clean
tangerines in my dreams, vines full of green beans
wearin tight jeans, gettin cream, sippin lean
smokin green like a screen and i'm listenin to queen




oh, so you're a baller, a real money maker?
dude you must be jokin, i get cream like ginger baker
stackin cake, oats like a quaker
i'm eating skittles, gin, and snake, i'm in the middle of the lakers

for the sake of sake, james blake in the rockies
cock so hard motherfuckers wanna block me
west virginia, mountain mother of vinegar
you could call me popeye, man, i'm such a spinacher

where i'm hangin, haters hate when i harangue em
girl said i look kinda like jeff mangum
shorty said i look kinda like jeff goldblum
she say it's cold, i pass my jacket, this a cold room

shorty said i look kinda like jeff goldblum
man with the golden gun, man with the gold bum
goldmember, mike myers, gold chain, rick ross
goldstone, steve martin luther vandross




deliver like the postal service, way that i give up
ups commercial, white board, licensing your stuff
i likey, i approve, almighty dollar be so mighty
whatever you can do to take em away from whitey

i'm developing a plan to take everything from the man
it'll take a better war to kill a college-dropout man
like me, yo, i'm in the land of the free
i'm in home of the brave, hall & oates up in the rave

yacht rock samples, set bad examples
you could call it desert rap, way i'm smokin camels
you could say i'm wreckless, way i never read the manual
i really try, man but i kant, like immanuel

my words my persona, they all personal to me
like dre, i'mma blow up offa puffin them trees
why even try when you can light a splif up
if your dreams elude you, then maybe you should give up