take my mixtape, throw it in the blender
will it blend? yes, it will. i surrender
call me robert e. lee, associate freely
you could call me dan, man, i'm so fuckin steely

mgmt, electric feel, b
call me raffi, banana phone, peel me
call me roger daltrey, can you see the real me?
call me phil dalton, got a beard, feel me?

you know i'm stupid, i put that on everything
do what i want, man, rap all day and never sing
every breath you take, i'll be watchin you forever, sting
always stayin leafy, man, you could call me evergreen

i'm forever young, call me rod stewart
make a lotta left turns, call me tony stewart
captain of the enterprise, call me patrick stewart
that's a good thing, call me martha stewart




verse two, comin at ya like blitzkrieg
astral weeks, if i ventured into the slipstream
that music i hear, i get misty
the moment you're near, you make me feel like i'm 16

makin flippy floppy, like talking heads, risd
art school, chapel ceiling like the sistene
i was locked up, man, did y'all even miss me?
i'm eatin hole foods, yeah, i'm talkin swiss cheese

call me swizz beats, i'm eatin emmenthaler
yeah i got the scoop, i'm a melon baller
i'm a shot caller, i'm eatin gruyère
call me babe ruth, i need a new chair

i want a new drug, i want some vans, man
i'm eatin rolo, american like bandstand
i'm playin solo, i'm playin in a band, man
catch me in your band's van, bumpin enter sandman




something happens then i'm head over heels
i never find out, until i run outta feels
ooh, girl, shock me like electeric eels
i'm the difference between phil spector and seal

write a stupid hook without pickin the verse
give a fuck if it's terse, cuz i'm so sick and cursed
people hate me like i was the chicken verse
call me fred durst, yeah, i'm the frickin worst




ayn rand paul ryan adam's apple cider
vinegar, bragg like i was a prize fighter
50 on my wrist, bitch, yes, i rhyme tighter
you know i stay green just like a lime lighter

living in the limelight, the universal dream
fishin in the river, like a loon immersed in streams
streamin from the cloud, man, you could call it cloud rap
i'm about my sounds, man, i just call it loud rap

chairman mao rap, eternal dao shit
that make you move, got that make you say wow shit
make your ass hallucinate, like it grew in cow shit
it make you think and it's touching like about schmidt

call me neil armstrong, catch me on the moon and shit
i'll cook it up and put in the can like some tuna fish
call me robert goulet, the way i'm croonin, rich
bitch, i'm stupider than sayin that you're too legit


something happens then i'm head over heels
i never find out, until i run outta feels
ooh, girl, shock me like electeric eels
i'm the difference between phil spector and seal

write a stupid hook without pickin the verse
give a fuck if it's terse, cuz i'm so sick and cursed
people hate me like i was the chicken verse
call me fred durst, yeah, i'm the frickin worst